Rick Hanson – Taking in the Good

A few months ago, I attended a great day-long seminar sponsored by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.  Rick Hanson, PhD, was the main speaker.  He’s a neuropsychologist and best-selling author, who has done a ton of research on the science behind positive emotions.   His most recent book is called Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom.

The topic of his seminar was “Taking In The Good” and how each and every one of us can train our own brains to cultivate more positive emotions and be happier more of the time.  Whatever we think about creates neural pathways in our brains, and the more we think about happy and positive things, the more neural pathways we form in certain areas of the brain.  So thinking happy thoughts trains our brain to be happy more automatically.  There really is SCIENCE behind all of this stuff, and it’s quite amazing how it’s possible to develop thinking habits that help us enjoy our lives and our relationships – and everything – more!

Basically, we all have the ability to direct our attention to anything – if you want to.  When you decide to focus on something – anything – it creates more of that experience in your life.  Your attention makes something into a bigger deal.  If, for instance, you are driving your car to the store, and another driver suddenly moves into your lane and almost hits you – you could get angry and honk your horn and make a big deal out of it – or you could just “let it go” and readjust to the situation and keep on moving.  If you decide to make a big deal about it, but the other driver doesn’t respond to you, you may get even more angry.  Who is responsible for your negative emotions?  You are.  You can choose to let the bad emotions pass quickly and go on with your life.  Negative emotions do not serve us.

If someone pays you a compliment – and tells you they liked something you did – or compliment your appearance – or whatever – your response may be to shrug it off and not accept that the compliment is meaningful.  But instead of just letting it pass – what if you say “thank you” and take a few seconds to remind yourself that it’s really great when someone compliments you or appreciates you for something.  It’s an affirmation of something good in your life.  Pay attention to whenever something good happens!  Make a note of it!  Remember that good experience and “take in the good” of that experience.  Let it sink in.  Experience it!  Make it work for you!  It’s so much better to let a compliment put you in a good mood, instead of shrugging it off.

Since whatever we choose to focus on -  creates more neural pathways in our brains - it’s important to notice what we are thinking about in any given moment.  If a negative thought comes into your mind, notice it, but don’t let it linger.  Instead, take it as a cue that you should switch over to thinking about something positive – like someone you love or something you like to do – anything that’s a good thing in your life.  It doesn’t matter how big or how small that good thing is.  It could be as simple as “I like the breeze in my face” or “my dog is always happy to see me.”  Anything.  The more you choose to have positive thoughts – the more you are training your brain into the habit of thinking positive thoughts.  And from positive thoughts, we have positive emotions.  It’s a practice like anything else, but it has real neurological effects.

Rather than try to reinterpret everything I learned from Rick Hanson that day, I’m going to post some links to some interviews, podcasts and videos with Rick Hanson on the Greater Good Science Center website.  Check these out!

Rick Hanson on the Neuroscience of Happiness (podcast)

Rick Hanson on Taking In The Good (interview)

Rick Hanson on How To Trick Your Brain for Happiness (article and video)

Enjoy!

PTD

How to Train Your Brain For Happiness

Discover Your Strengths

Recently, I purchased the book, “Strengths Finder 2.0” by Tom Rath. It’s been around since 2002, but was updated in 2007, and has been a #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller. “The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of talent in 34 categories called themes. These themes were determined by Gallup as those that most consistently predict outstanding performance. The greater the presence of a theme of talent within a person, the more likely that person is to spontaneously exhibit those talents in day-to-day behaviors. Focusing on naturally powerful talents helps people use them as the foundation of strengths and enjoy personal, academic, and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.”

And it’s more than a book – buying the book (currently $12.99 on Amazon) gives you a unique “access code” so that you can go online and take the Strengths Finder Assessment test and find out about your Top 5 Themes (or talents). The Assessment test takes about 35 minutes, and is well worth the time. Unfortunately, you do have to buy the book (new, not used) in order to get an unused Access Code to take the online test. But if you want to do a similar but free Strengths Finder self-test, go to:
http://www.unsheeple.com/2008/11/free-strengths-finder-testkind-of-self-reporting/

The results show you where your natural strengths and talents are – whether or not you have nurtured them or developed them to the fullest. So, for instance, if you are a naturally creative person, but are stuck in a job doing mundane and repetitive tasks, your creative talents are not being fully utilized and you will be unhappy with your job. Or if you are good with numbers, but are not naturally empathetic to other people, and your job is in customer service, you may also be in the wrong job! The Strengths Finder is often used by organizations and companies to help figure out how to take advantage of their employees’ natural strengths.

The Strenghts Finder Assessment can also help individuals like you and me figure out our strengths and talents so that we can make sure we are doing things to nurture and development them to our advantage. It’s the oppositive of taking a look at your weaknesses and figuring out where you need to improve! Plus, the results are ALL GOOD! It will give you a boost to your self-confidence!

Here are my results:

How well do you think these themes describe me?

Strategic
People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

Positivity
People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

Activator
People who are especially talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.

Futuristic
People who are especially talented in the Futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.

Woo
People who are especially talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

To learn more about the Clifton StrengthsFinder and how you can discover your top five themes, visit http://strengths.gallup.com

PTD

Clifton Strengths Finder 2.0

Prayers for My Uncle Chuck

My uncle, Chuck Cozza, is an amazing and inspirational person. In February 2006, Chuck suffered a massive brain injury to his head while on the job for his garage door business in Colorado. After the blow to his head, Chuck got in his truck to get help. But he didn’t get very far. A friend noticed Chuck’s truck pulled over by the side of the road. Chuck was unconscious. They brought him to the Hospital where he was in a coma for a number of months. Nobody knew if he would survive. When he finally woke up, he couldn’t talk. So no one really knows how the incident happened. Chuck has trouble communicating and nobody else witnessed the accident.

Over the last 5 years, however, Chuck has started a long and slow journey towards recovery. With the help and unwavering support of his wife, Kim, who never gave up on him, Chuck has made a lot of progress, even after medical professionals expressed doubt that he would ever get this far. Not to mention, that Chuck’s medical insurance policy was not adequate to cover his care and long-term treatment, so the family has faced mounting financial problems. Despite these hardships, Chuck has learned to talk again, laugh and smile, and even make jokes. He remembers his friends and family, but nothing about the accident. He has been able to stand and take steps with assistance. He even recently had physical therapy at a swimming pool. He has been a joy to be around with his positive attitude and persistence. Things were looking pretty good. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, Chuck had a several big seizures and is once again struggling for his life. This is not the first time that Chuck has had setbacks and seizures, but we can never be sure if he’ll recover – or if this will be the end. We’re praying that he recovers!

What can you do? I just ask that you send out your positive energy and prayers towards my dear Uncle Chuck in Colorado. He can use all the positive energy we can send his way. That would be so great.

And if you’d like any more info about Chuck Cozza and his family and how to help, you can always go to http://www.chuckcozza.com. That’s where the family often posts updates and photos.

We’re all rooting for you Chuck!

PTD

Accidents, Chuck Cozza, Prayers, Recover, Seizures

Remembering How Great You Really Are!

We all feel down sometimes. Maybe nothing is really wrong. Or maybe a lot of things could be going a lot better. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are or what you are doing at the moment. When you are “feeling down”, you are temporarily focusing on negative thoughts and letting them get to you.

Often, these negative thoughts and feelings are about yourself. You get down on yourself for anything and everything. You think you’re too fat, too old, too tired, too powerless, “too something” and “not enough of something else.” And really, all of this is just going on in your own head and is totally unproductive. But we all do get into these moods sometimes. We make up our own misery.

So what can you do to get out of a bad mood or out of a rut? Well, first you have to decide that it’s possible for you to do things that will make you feel better. And then you have to start doing them. Or rather – thinking them. It all starts in your own head.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, you’ve got to make a note of it – catch that negative thought and put it aside. It’s your cue that now it’s time to think about something positive. Start appreciating everything that’s good in your life, and in yourself. Be thankful that you are alive and breathing! That’s a start! Look out the window and appreciate the snow or the rain or the sunshine or the clouds or the wind. Remember – things are always changing and you have the power to change too.

The most important thing is to remember how really great you are – to know your strengths and to really believe in yourself. Take some time every day to remember your successes and how you’ve made a positive impact to so many people and in so many situations – personally and professsionally. Be good to yourself. Enjoy each day. Do things that you love. Spend time with people you love or enjoy being around. Spend more time with positive people and less time with people who drag you or themselves down, whether they realize it or not.

When you make a daily habit of appreciating something or anything that is good in your world, in your life, and in yourself, your life will start to change for the better. Don’t forget to appreciate what’s good about YOU. You don’t have to be boastful or selfish. Remembering your own strengths and talents and good qualities does not make you a narcissist. And it doesn’t mean that you think you are “perfect”. It doesn’t mean that you do not acknowledge that there might be some things about yourself that you might like to change. But there is no reason why you should ignore all the things that are good about yourself. In fact, it’s time you started remembering how great you really are!

Remember that you’ve made a positive difference in so many people’s lives, and even the little things count. Just smiling at a stranger walking down the street can count. The truth is, you are not just a good person – you are a great person! Why not just accept it? Why put yourself down and think less of yourself? What good will that do anyone?

So if you notice that you are thinking something negative about yourself – take that moment of awareness as your cue. It’s your cue to start thinking something positive about yourself right then and there. You’ve got to start somewhere. It doesn’t have to be any sort of “wow” positive thought. It can be as simple as “I love my Mom” or “I am a nice person” or “I’m pretty smart” or “I make great Spaghetti” or “I taught my sister how to ride a bike” or whatever. Maybe it’s something bigger like “I earned a Masters degree” or “I finished a marathon” or “I did CPR on a guy and save his life.” Keep on going for as long as you want. The bottom line is – don’t let any negative thoughts stick around in your head for more than a moment. Instead, turn them into cues for thinking something positive instead.

You may not realize today how great you really are, but the least you can do today is to start remembering that you are someone who possessess a lot of great qualities – and give yourself credit for them!

Appreciation, self-confidence

The Hummingbird Incident: Or When Accidents Happen

Hummingbirds are beautiful small creatures. According to Wikipedia, “They are among the smallest of birds, most species measuring in the 7.5–13 cm (3–5 in) range. They can hover in mid-air by rapidly flapping their wings 12–90 times per second. They are also the only group of birds able to fly backwards.” They also have one of the highest metabolisms of any living creature and need to feed constantly in order to have enough energy to keep on going and keep fluttering their wings at a very high velocity.

I happen to live in an area that has a lot of blooming flowers with nectar – and thus attracts a lot of Hummingbirds. Whenever I see a Hummingbird, I am struck with wonder and admiration. They work so hard to flutter their wings and dart around from flower to flower. Their wings flutter so fast that they are almost invisible! Hummingbirds are simply one of nature’s coolest living things.

Because today was a beautiful sunny day, and the temperatures were in the mid-70′s, of course I opened my windows to let in the beautiful summer breeze while I was working away on my computer. The windows were open all day and everything was fine. Suddenly, I heard a strange noise and felt a presence. A tiny Hummingbird had flown through a window and into the room. It was flying around the ceiling, thinking that the way to get out was to fly up! But the way to get out was to fly down and back out through the window! Poor little Hummingbird didn’t know that. So he kept on flying around the room – always at the ceiling level. I don’t think I have ever been this close to a Hummingbird for an extended time. He was beautiful. Impressive. And totally out of his element. It’s so interesting to note that even though some creatures might be so strong and capable in their normal circumstances – that they can become so helpless when they face things that are unfamiliar.

Quite by accident, this little Hummingbird had entered into a new space that he didn’t understand. He was confused and scared and didn’t know what to do. Neither did I.

All I knew was that I wanted to help this little Hummingbird get back outside asap without getting hurt. So I opened all of the windows as much as I could. I closed the doors so the bird couldn’t get into the rest of the house. Not that he even tried – he kept so close to the ceiling. I tried to make it dark in the room and light near the windows so that maybe he’d be attracted to the light by the windows and fly out. None of that worked. So then I called my neighbor. He came over and had an idea. Get a big bowl and a lid or something to slide over the bowl and try to get the bird into the bowl, and then bring him outside to let him go. So I found my largest salad mixing bowl and a lid, and my neighbor brought over a ladder so he could get closer to the ceiling. He tried to catch the bird in the salad bowl for a few minutes, but the little birdie didn’t want to get near him. The bird just kept flying all over and around the room would always escape the salad bowl. So then I got a broom from the kitchen and tried to flap it around to persuade the Hummingbird to move closer to my neighbor. It certainly scared the bird. But after another few minutes with me fanning the bird towards my neighbor, we finally got him into the salad bowl. And less than a minute later, we released him back outside and he flew away rapidly! I also closed all the windows so he wouldn’t get back in again!

So what does this have to do with anything? Why is this “Hummingbird Incident” being mentioned in the context of The Positive Thinking Diet?

Well, there are always lessons to learn in every thing we choose to observe and think about for a bit. So here are some of my observations and lessons learned from the “Hummingbird Incident.”

1) Hummingbirds are really cool and wonderful little birds, and I am lucky enough to live where they live and observe them on a regular basis when they are in their element and being strong and impressive. I am grateful for the existence of Hummingbirds.

2) Most creatures on Earth, including humans, have developed certain skills and traits and habits that serve us well and help us to survive in our normal environments. And even though we are all very different from each other, we learn to use whatever we’ve got to best advantage. No matter how small or how large, or if you fly or if you walk or if you swim, or if you have a big brain or a small brain – everyone uses whatever they’ve got to the best of their abilities – to survive and hopefully prosper.

3) Occasionally, and usually accidentally, we end up facing unfamiliar circumstances that we are totally unprepared for. What do you do if you fall into the water and can’t swim, or you trip and fall and hit your head and can’t think straight, or you go to another country and your bus breaks down in a small town and you can’t speak their language – what do you do?

4) Well, you do the best you can. You decide that you’re going to figure out a way to get through it and to a better place. And you hope that others are around who might be sympathetic to your plight and want to help you. And you have trust the Universe that it will all be OK in the end.

5) It doesn’t help to panic or think that there is no way out. You have to keep on trying. And even if you are doing the wrong thing some of the time, at least you are doing something. You try something, and if that doesn’t work, you try something else. And in the case of the Hummingbird, who was doing the wrong thing by staying close to the ceiling instead of flyer lower to get out the window, at least the Hummingbird had me and my neighbor to guide him into a salad bowl so that he could be brought outside and released.

6) I might have given up too. I might have let the Hummingbird fly around until he was exhausted and died. But I kept on trying to help him. Some of the things we tried didn’t work. But we tried new things. And in the end, we did help him. And he’s fine. And we’re all fine.

All is well that ends well, and we have to believe that in the end – everything is going to be fine.

PTD

Accidents, Hummingbirds

Happy Birthday!

Everyone has a birthday, and today is mine! And I have a lot to be grateful for. To begin with, I am grateful that because of the love of my parents and their desire for children, they brought me into this world. I am grateful for my entire family, including my brothers and their partners and their children. I am grateful for all of my friends, old and new. The flowers, cards and birthday wishes, the dinners that I had with friends this week, the kindness and generosity of my neighbors and coworkers.

On every birthday, we should always remember that we have a great deal to celebrate, and that it is not only about us, but everyone else around us who makes our lives so rich and wonderful. To everyone else out there, I wish you a Happy Birthday as well!

PTD

Birthdays

Where Are You Going?

Today, someone asked me a good question. One year from now, what will be different?

I think it’s important to break this question down into 2 parts:

1) Where (or how or what or who) do you want to be in one year?

2) Are you currently headed in that direction?

Of course, most things change somewhat in the course of the year. Hopefully for the better, but not always. There are some things that you cannot control, like the weather or the passage of time.

You’re going to be a year older, chronologically, no matter what. But maybe you can become healthier, fitter and look and feel younger. If you are headed in that direction. You’re not going to become more fit unless you make exercise a regular habit. Are you going there?

If you want to learn a new language or develop a new skill, you might have to take a class or read a book or hang out with people who know what it is that you want to learn. Are you doing that? Are you going there?

If you want more financial freedom, you have to earn more money, and/or reduce your expenses. Which means putting some focus on your income and expenses, and not just “expecting” things to get better. Are you doing anything to increase your income or reduce your expenses? Are you going there?

And what if you don’t know where you want to be in a year? Are you going nowhere? Will everything stay exactly the same? Probably not! You’re probably headed somewhere, whether or not you have a clear direction. If you’re over-eating, you’re headed towards a heavier body. If your job sucks, you’re bored and just punching the time card, then you and your company might not be keeping up with the competition. And if your company fails, you are headed towards being out of a job. If you are headed to Starbucks to buy a $3 latte every morning, every day of the year, that’s $1068 less that you’ll have saved by the end of the year. Even without thinking (or especially without thinking), we are all going somewhere.

What are your habits? Where are you going?

PTD

Goals, Habits, Outcomes

The Existence of Rainbows

Last night, as we were exiting a restaurant in Berkeley, we looked up into the sky and saw a beautiful rainbow. The sky was dark with clouds, but this beautiful bright rainbow was glimmering at us and it was just amazing to behold. I took a quick photo, because I know that rainbows don’t always last very long. And sure enough, the rainbow was gone a few minutes later.

According to Wikipedia, a rainbow is “an optical and meteorological phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines on to droplets of moisture in the Earth’s atmosphere.”

A rainbow can be observed, but cannot be touched. If you try to move towards what appeaars to be the location of the rainbow, or try to find “the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,” the rainbow will disappear as soon as you get too close. This is because as you change your own location, you may move out of the optimal range from which to view the effect of the sunlight reflecting and refracting off of the droplets of mist.

To be able to see a rainbow, you must be in the right place at the right time, and you must be looking directly at it when it happens! If you are standing facing east when you see a rainbow that appears to be over a field, you can bet that the people on the other side of the field cannot look west towards you and see the rainbow that you see. The rainbow is observable to you, but not to everyone. And it might last for only a few minutes.

Seeing rainbows is all about your perpective. If you’re in the right place, you can see them. If you are in another place or facing the wrong direction, they may be invisible. But rainbows do exist. So just because you cannot see something in a particular moment – doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. You might just need to adjust your perspective and where you are standing, and voila! There is the rainbow!

We live in a world where so many things are going on at the same time, that it’s really easy to miss some of the beauty that exists around us – but that has been there all the time. If you are walking through a park, thinking about how you are late for work, and are not looking at the majesty of the trees or paying attention to the fragrance of the flowers, then you are missing out on a wonderful experience. If you are looking at the dark clouds to the west instead of the rainbow to the east, it’s because you were looking in the wrong direction.

If you are thinking about something that makes you sad, instead of something that makes you happy, make note of it. Stop for a moment. Change your perspective. At the end of the storm, there may be a rainbow. Remind yourself about people and things in your life that make you happy. And think about being with those people and doing those things that make you happy. And every time a negative thought enters your mind. Stop again, and change your perspective again. It takes practice, but it’s worth it.

Rainbows do exist – even if we cannot always see them. Keep looking out for them!

Uncategorized

What a Way to Go!


This past Saturday, May 21st, 2011 was prophesied to be the day of the “Rapture,” otherwise known as the “End of the World.” Of course, we’re all still here, so someone was thankfully very mistaken. But it did make me ask myself a few questions:

- What do I want to do before I die?
- Where do I want to be when the World ends?
- How do I want to go out?

So on the day of the supposed Rapture, I spent the day laying marks for a trail run in Marin County, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, for one of my running groups. The trail started at Muir Beach Overlook, and went through Slide Ranch, then into Frank’s Valley, Green Gulch Farm and Muir Beach before winding its way back to start. About 18 people showed up, plus Nemo the dog, and everyone enjoyed the trail and the beautiful views. Afterwards, we hung around and had some beer and BBQ’d some hot dogs. Six o’clock came and went and the World was still here. And it felt great to be alive!

I spent what could have been my last day on Earth doing something I love (trail running) in a beautiful place with a great group of people. It’s actually something I do almost every weekend. And if “that was it,” it would have been a fine way to go out.

Several years ago, I was participating in a trail race in the hills above Palo Alto. Along the course, I saw a bunch of rangers redirecting the runners, and then a body on the ground covered with a blanket and feet with running shoes sticking out. Apparently, an elderly runner (in his 70′s) had a heart attack on trail and died immediately. The rangers were coordinating a helicopter pickup to get the man out, since we were several miles away from any road. As sad as it was to know that this man died, I thought that even if he had a choice, this might have been the way he would want to go out. He died doing something he loved. He didn’t get sick and linger around in a nursing home. Instead, he put on his trail shoes, kissed his wife goodbye, and went out for a trail run on a beautiful sunny day. And when his time came, that was it. I think that’s a pretty good way to go.

So how would YOU like to go? Maybe you’d like to spend your last day with your family or close friends, having a backyard BBQ or walking along the beach or hiking at Yosemite or cooking a great meal and passing in your sleep. One thing is for sure – your last day will come one day, whether you like it or not. You might as well like it!

And for all the days before your last day, what will you be doing? Since you probably don’t know in advance when your last day will be, you might as well enjoy every day that you are alive! Do things that matter to you. Do things that make you happy. Spend time with people you love and care about. Every day is a blessing, whether it’s your last day or not.

So now, it’s today! Make sure to take some time today to do something that makes you happy or makes you feel good. Today is your day – to live and to love. And if it’s your last day, make it a good one!

PTD

Dying, End of the World, Rapture, Trail Running

Receiving Compliments, Giving Compliments

Every Tuesday morning, I meet up with friends at Berkeley Marina for our ritual Tuesday morning run. Today, there were 8 of us, mostly from Berkeley, Albany and Oakland. And it was a beautiful sunny morning, with views of San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge, Mount Tam and the Bay. All of us look forward to Tuesday’s runs, not only for the exercise, but for each other’s company and conversation. We try to run as a group, or in clumps based on our pace, and always run slow enough to talk to each other.

So today, I received an unexpected compliment from one of my friends. He said, “you know what I really appreciate about you, is that you’re someone who seems to have done about as much random shit as I have.” And he meant that sincerely as a compliment. I guess he sees himself as somewhat of an “outlier” in the “having done a lot of random shit” category, so whenever he talks to me, he feels like he’s talking to someone with a common “gene” or something. I didn’t exactly thank him for the compliment at the time, as I should have. I just thought it was interesting.

Now that I think about it, I am very thankful for the compliment, however unusual, because it was heartfelt and generous. My friend is a pretty brilliant, well-traveled and accomplished person and a Professor at USF, so to be thought of as a compadre due to all the random shit I have done in my life, makes me feel good. What a great way to start my day!

This morning, I also gave a compliment to one of my other running friends. She’s pushing 50, but is training for another triathlon and has the body of a 20-year-old. She is seriously in fantastic shape and I told her so. And she smiled and accepted the compliment and we moved on to other topics. But thinking back on it – giving her that compliment made me feel good – and it made her feel good. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was a very positive exchange of energy.

Most of all, I am complimented that these friends of mine look forward to seeing me (and each other) every Tuesday morning. They appreciate me, and I appreciate them. They are such an interesting, warm and generous group of people. I am grateful to have them in my life.

Based on this morning’s experiences, I can only conclude that we should all be giving and receiving more compliments. It doesn’t have to be anything serious or important. Just say something honest and heartfelt about what you appreciate about another person. And even if nobody else gives you a direct compliment today, please realize that it’s a compliment anytime someone looks forward to spending time with you. Knowing that other people like and appreciate you, can only make you feel good. So accept the compliment!

PTD

Compliments